"Realize"

Dear strawberry,

What I know about loving before, is it involves the relationship of opposite sex, I thought it has to be like boyfriend/girlfriend, I thought only strangers out there are the ones we must find or encounter, Lastly, I never thought that loving could be familial; like an Aunt and Niece relationship.

I’m the aunt and I have a 7 year old niece named Lauren Desrae. She’s from Canada, daughter of my older cousin Ate Malou. They took the vacation here at the Philippines last summer. Lauren and I had a great bonding especially when we were in Dagupan. She shared her thoughts with me, asked me crazy things, asked a lot of questions, always curious of what was I doing, and so much more. But what I like about her is she is so smart, smart enough to know how to listen and how to respond correctly to what I’m saying. She’s so matured. I was like talking to a teenage girl like me. And the best thing about her is she’s so understanding and sweet.

Every night before Lauren and I go to sleep we always have that weird conversations, it’s like asking silly questions to each other then answering it with SARCASM. Hahahaha. This one is my favorite:

Me: Lauren, are you a Filipino or a Canadian? (I still asked her that question though I know what the true answer is)

Lauren: Canadian of course. I live in Canada Tita right?

Me: But your parents are Filipino, even your Grandparents.

Lauren: Okay I’m a citizen there. But tita I was born there right? So I’m a Canadian no matter what.

Me: whatever Lauren. But do you know that Filipinos are very intelligent people?

Lauren: yeah I noticed that.

Me: So are you a Filipino?

Lauren: still no Tita SpongeMauie. (I got the SpongeMauie from her)

Me: Ah. So that’s why you’re not intelligent. HAHAHAHA!

Lauren: What?! Okay, so now I’m a Filipino.

Me: hahahaha. I was just kidding. You know what kidding is?

Lauren: Yeah joking.

Me: Joking? Huh? No it’s not.

Lauren: then what is it?

Me: When you’re young and small you’re KIDDING, when you grow you’re GROWING but when you’re old like tita Arlene, you’re DYING.

Lauren&Me: ahahahahahahahaha

THE OTHER NIGHT

Lauren: Tita can I ask you a question?

Me: You’re already asking.

Lauren: Okay. So tita, why do we need trees?

Me: for breathing purposes?

Lauren: Why do you have to put your bras under your pillow last night?

Me: HEY! How did you?!? Curse you Lauren the platypus.

Lauren: HAHAHAHA Tita SpongeBoobs.

Me: Stop calling me names. You’re irritating me now Lauren. I’m serious.

Lauren: Oh? Is that so? AHAHAHAHAHA

Me: knock it off! Why don’t you go to sleep?

Lauren: There’s no law about sleeping time. So let’s talk some more before mom gets here. So tita Mauie, do you love me?

Me: No.

Lauren: Huh? Why?

Me: do I have to?

Lauren: DUH?Of course tita.

Me: Why?

Lauren: Because I love you tita.

Me: Lauren, I did not ask you to love me so please don’t make me feel that as if I have to love you back.

(Lauren gave me a sad face and then cried)

Me: Kidding  I love you Lauren.

Lauren: I love you too tita

That’s how crazy we are.

One time I was just staring at her, or just observing her the whole day. And as I look at her I noticed that, Yeah she’s really a child but with a mature and flexible way of thinking.

I learned and realized many things because of her. She was the one who made me realize that life isn’t that complicated you just have to look at it like a child do; to full-fill your emptiness, you just have to call your friends and go out there and play all day long without knowing what probably will happen the next day, That life is so easy when at you’re at your worst; just buy lollipop then everything will be just fine again. Lauren made me realize that life would be a lot easier if you do know how to fit in, she taught me to buy slurpee XD She said buying slurpee makes her feel really good. I don’t know why it seems to her that life is that simple .. .. then I realized, it is.

Yes, I’d love to be a sister or a bestfriend to her. I can do that. But the thing here is, there’s something I really cannot do for her, and that is to answer those bothering questions that, I, myself once asked those when I was her age. I never thought that those questions would still bother me. Like Lauren, I used to be so curious of everything. So it was a shocking thought that there is one little girl who’s close to me twho acts like me.

Last thing, I just wish that I could answer her questions, I wish that could respond to her curiosity, I wish I could interpret life to her, and I HOPE TITA SPONGEMAUIE could kill those things that bothers you a lot.

“Lauren, thanks for making me realize that childhood explains it all when it comes to handling out our LIVES”

Yours truly,

SpongeMauie

(UNFINISHED)

She really knows what's BEST

She's with me whenever I'm weary, She never leave my side when I'm in trouble, She knows everything about me, She did it all for me, and she is my mother.


When times get rough, She always get in her way to do her job which is to manage and handle out problems, She always do everything for me, Give not expensive but the best stuffs,She always cook the best meal, she always make things better, always weep my the tears away and put back a smile on my face, and even if it's hard for her she'll pretend and tell me that everything will work out just fine even though I know it won't. 


Sometimes, I do misunderstand her and get mad at her because she is not listening to what I say. I'm being hard-headed and I know it's wrong. But in spite of those mistakes she still could not stop forgiving me and could not stop giving me a chance to change. She's the one who never get tired of teaching me lessons.


I'm not ashamed of her just because she's borrowing money from other people just to have something for dinner, I'm not ashamed just because she has no enough money to buy everything for us, And I'm not ashamed because she's my mom. I'm proud of her for raising me up,for giving me everything I need, And lastly for giving birth to me.


My mom told me that she can pass through mountains just to give us nothing but the best and she's willing to take the risk just to play the role of being a mother. And she also told me that she's only breathing because of us.


I am also in pain when I see her crying. But that's what make me strong, that's what makes me love her even more. 

If only I could repay her, I will and I promise to do it in the best way the I can. I would do it just like her way, giving the best of everything for the one whose the best at everything.

"No words can express how much I love you"

- How Did You Know by Chiqui Pineda

(My mom's favorite song
and I call it as her National Anthem XD)

Being a child :)

Dear Strawberry,


Awhile ago, I was browsing my childhood album. I saw every picture in that album and there is one remarkable photo of mine that bothered me and gave me an idea of composing a blog. It's all about being a child; being clueless of everything.

In that particular photograph, I was smiling widely while holding a brand new "PHOTO ALBUM".The story behind it is, I thought that ,that photo album was mine .. but then It wasn't, It's my brother's . He got it from one of his Ninong/Ninang in his baptismal. It was a present for him.

I spent the night holding that album, believing that it's mine and without them telling me that it wasn't for me. So everyday I browse the album, looking at it as if there's a picture on it.

Until one morning, the album was not at the place where I left it. I worked hard looking for it but sadly, I didn't find it.

The next morning I was shocked because I saw the album at the top of the drawer ... .. of my brother. I immediately grabbed it, quickly opened it and then I was like "huh?what's this".It was full of my brother's pictures when he was born and those pictures taken on his baptismal. I closed the book, put it back to where it belong and then I quietly left the room.

I really liked that photo album, treated it mine, and then noticed it wasn't.

At that very moment, I realized that, I cannot own everything especially those things that are really not mine. I learned that I can't just have it. I realized that a child really don't know what are they doing and I also realized that they really don't know what they're saying.

But that's the glory of being a child, Saying things without knowing what it is and doing stuffs without knowing what may happen as a result yet they're SERIOUS.

Yes, they may not know the meaning of words that comes out from their mouth but they do mean it, they may not know everything about the reality of life but in their world they do understand what they feel and do comprehend everything they see.

I have learned and realized that I'm not a child anymore, that I have to stop pretending that everything is mine, I'm not a child anymore so I must quit acting like one and it's not anymore proper for me to act like I'm clueless.

I'm already a grown up now. I can easily understand things, I can classify which thing is mine and which is not, and lastly, I can now explain; at least something to a child who's as careless and as clueless like me before.

-SpongeMauie